Saturday, February 05, 2005

The Scenery of my own Sacrifice

I had a hard time with OC's devotional today. I find it hard to believe that God wants anyone to be abased. But then, He was.

My daughter just told us she is beginning the process that will take her to Bangladesh with a mission group. It makes this mother's heart beat a bit faster when I think about it. Will that be the scenery of her sacrifice?

And what or where is mine?

It makes me think of this job, and my feelings about it, especially when I first started. I had been working as a unit clerk and admissions clerk at the hospital. A job among professionals. It thrilled me to be there, to be among others who, in my estimation, were a notch above "the common." (I guess I'm revealing my snobbery here!) When those positions were cut back, since I was on the bottom of the totem pole, I was out.
Taking the job as a clerk in a small shop for just above minimum wage was definitely a blow to my self-esteem.
Yet this job has allowed me to write to my heart's content. I've finished a novel (almost) in the past year, and written and edited quite a lot more. I'm absolutely certain God put me here for that purpose.
The sacrifice of position for ministry wasn't my choice, but it was accomplished.

I think of Henri Nouwen, and his experience of going from a prof. at Yale to the L'Arche community where, as he expressed it, he went from being a man of reknown to a man working with people who only cared if he could make their cereal in the morning. The lessons he learned about God and himself in the process were invaluable.

And then there's the cross - Christ's scenery of sacrifice. Makes all others look just a shade more than mere.


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