Friday, April 08, 2011

Awakening to Joy

You might find the title of this post strange since, for the next while I will be using this blog to journal about my experience with breast cancer. I don't know how long it will go on, or how often I will post, but I would welcome your comments and covet your prayers. Bless you all. Marcia *********************

On March 24th, 2010, I had a mammogram and ultrasound and then a biopsy on a lump that seemed to be getting bigger. (I had a biopsy last year which they said was negative but there was a bit of a bump there after the cyst had been aspirated and recently it seemed to swell). I saw my Dr. and the results of this second biopsy came back positive for breast cancer. I see a surgeon on Wednesday April 13th and will know more after that. I expect to be having surgery within the next 2-3 weeks and then, best case scenario, a short dose of radiation treatments as a safety precaution. If there is further sign of the cancer in the lymph nodes that will mean more aggressive treatment.

So ... only God knows what the future holds for me. It's been a bit of a roller coaster ride sometimes, but I have had that amazing "peace that passes all understanding" as I've been dealing with this. Now I understand what that phrase really means and it is truly amazing. God is good. Jesus is my strength.

It has been amazing to me how relevant scripture has been “showing up.” Friends have been sending them, of course, but for the past while we’ve been studying The Psalms of Ascent – a Beth Moore Bible study and in the two weeks prior to these results the scriptures seemed to be speaking directly to me. I also get a scripture quote sent to my email inbox every day. For the past two weeks they have all been about leaning on God or about his care for us in hard times. These words have been a great source of strength and even joy to me.

Joy in the midst of this? Yes. My husband and I were driving through central Alberta the other day. It was one of the first truly spring-like days we’ve had. The sun was warm, the mountains gleaming in the distance and I found myself thanking the Lord that this is happening now, when the earth is awakening and renewing itself. And the joy was there. Not just in a trickle but in a torrent, like the rivers that are breaking free of the ice.

Perhaps this is a spiritual awakening in me – no, not perhaps, it’s already happening – or perhaps it’s a picture of what death is – not an ending but a beginning. I find myself totally willing to accept either. How could I not? Both are gifts directly from the hand of God, purposed only for me.

Glory to His name.


Jack "TheWordMan" Popjes said...

Oh Marcia! I love your attitude. And so does your Great Father. Thanks for sharing this with us, your friends, and thus giving us an opportunity to accompany you on this journey through our prayers for you, your husband and family. Courage. Keep your sense of humor. (like, let's hope Friday the 13th doesn't fall on a Wednesday this month.)

Marcia said...

I'll say amen to that, Jack! ;)

Judith Lawrence said...

Marcia, Thank you for writing this blog as you go through this journey with our Lord. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Many blessings, Judith

Carol Harrison said...

Marcia thanks for being willing to share your journey through this tough time and the reminder that God knows the way ahead and will be with you every step of the way. Thanks too for the reminder to choose joy as a gift from God no matter what. I too find that God sends words of comfort, wisdom and encouragement in various forms at just the times I need them. Praying for you on this journey.

Anonymous said...

Hi Marci,
Florence and I just wanted to say hi and that we'll be thinking especially of you and Spence and the family in the days ahead and praying God's very best for you all. Our lives are all in His hand. Love from us both.

Steve said...

Hi Marci,
Just wanted to let you know that you and Spence are in our thoughts these days along with all of your family. Our lives are always in His hands. Love from us both.

Judith Lawrence said...

Marcia, I don't know what happened to the comment I posted yesterday, it didn't show on the comment page. Anyway, I assure you that you will be in my prayers and I will follow along your journey. Many blessings.